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Thread: Working with blockages

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  1. #1

    Working with blockages

    Hi everyone,

    My client recently started her own company and is struggling with work-life balance. She enjoys her work, but feels guilty when she spends time with friends. That is, there's a nagging feeling that she should be working instead. She also calculates whether or not to spend time with a friend based on how useful this person is to her business - which she does not like, and judges herself for it.

    How much should I dig into these feelings of guilt and self-judgement (which she's aware of)? I don't want the conversation to get too negative.

    Her objective is to find a way to move passed these feelings, with the goal of enjoying her time with friends (work-life balance).

    I guess my larger question is: should we dig deeper into these emotions, or simply dive into work-life balance models? Or something else?

    Your advice on this would be greatly appreciated!
    Howie

  2. #2
    I will support this client to embrace the guilty as an window to help her appreciate what she is valuing most behind this emotion.

    The point is that most client will attempt to suppress or fix or “pass” the negative emotions but the truth it that emotions can be replaced or removed.

    It exists to serve us to remain intact or congruence if you take time to understand what it is telling us.

    The work-style balance is the manifestation or symptoms and there is little impacts to address without understanding what drives it.

  3. #3
    This was very good learning. I explored the guilt with my client, and discovered that the guilt was also a symptom and not the cause of her imbalance as originally thought. A deeper blockage emerged (fear of failure) which we'll explore in the future.

    What I learned: it's not about me (the coach). I need to let the conversation go where the client takes me, whether that is negative or positive.

  4. #4
    I found myself in a situation where coaching it seemed that the client had a lot of guilt and could't make a decision because of the "guilt trips" of family - I was fearful of exploring this as it felt like it would move into a counselling space.

    Reading Ben's advice is interesting - I am so looking forawrd to his feedback on my recording.

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